LipsMovedEyesClosed's Xanga

I hate her face, but enjoy the company.

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 05:52:38 GMT

I'm graduating in 2 days. 3 days? I'm not sure how to even count it anymore; if you count from the day you're on or only the days in between; i graduate friday and today is tuesday. well, actually, i graduate friday and sunday. i'm really sad, though, because i feel like there is so much i'm leaving behind and nothing left to go home to. i feel like everything is worn out back there; like trying to wear clothes from high school that still have some charm but they don't fit right anymore and they somehow look wrong outside of your memories. but i don't have much of a choice because i don't have much money, at least not to do the things i want to. at least i am going to japan; i would be more excited but i just can't envision it right now...which is funny, since I have been there before and all. i'm really excited to meet the japanese students, but i can't actually imagine it at the moment; or i should say i can't imagine it being a reality. i don't know.

but i'm tired of wanting common things; i'm tired of wanting things that rely on circumstance. but can you really be different without being in isolation?

whatever. i think i am just depressed about getting a job. school has always been so easy; i've always had so much free time to divulge, but now i feel like i have to devote myself to something i couldn't possibly care about. i don't think there are really any jobs out there that i can get (at least momentarily) that i would actually enjoy; i'm at the point where i don't even really know what to look for.

ok, i'm uncertain, whatever, but it's late and i have my last final (perhaps forever) tomorrow, so I need to get as much sleep as possible.

Oh, btw; today was my last day of work, so that makes me sad because i like to assign high emotional value to things that don't necessarily call for it.

But ironically...

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 19:24:26 GMT

Last week, I was getting ready to hang out with some friends when I realized that I had a paper due the next day. We had to write on the advisory content of a song, which I was interested in, so I wasn't too stressed about it. I wrote on the song "Symmetry", which is a duet between Mew and a 13-year-old girl (the song is 9 years old now). It's a really lovely song, and I chose it because I could write about the musical composition of it as well as the lyrics.

Now this week, the most random thing happened--the girl in the duet sent me a message on Facebook! I get messages occasionally from Mew fans for the group I'm in, so it wasn't out of nowhere, but it was definitely a surprise. I just thought it was a really funny coincidence, so I wanted to share it with the world.

but it's mah birfday, marshie...

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 05:53:53 GMT

well, i'm super old now.
also, today i washed my hair with what may actually be margarita mix; Taco was following me around all the time trying to taste it.

orange county, stop being on fire!

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 03:02:43 GMT

i've been looking at articles and photos of yorba linda frequently, and it is just a mess. it's so sad how one house catches on fire, and the next doesn't. but apparently, there have been a ton of people who stayed at their houses armed with garden hoses, spraying out embers that landed on their houses. talk about intense. seeing pictures of BOHS being burned is really sad; but apparently it didn't get hit as badly as brea canyon high school (but then, BCHS is really tiny). my mom told me yesterday that people were just going up on hills to watch the fire; she said you could always tell when it was a house that was burning. in a twisted way, i wanted to be there so i could see. here, all i have is ash. my grandparent's house is still in the necessary evacuation area; yorba linda is still a danger zone.

well, i don't really have much to say today, i guess.

not dying as much

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 05:12:39 GMT

So awesomes! I'm finished (for now) with my hugemongous project that is due tomorrow. also, i had to say hugemongous because humongous is apparently spelled wrong here. So then i decided to look it up, but since i figured i was spelling it wrong, i looked up 'gargantuan' in the thesaurus instead, and it suggested both humongous and ginormous, which my inter-spellings is still telling me i've spelled wrong. it won't even suggest another word. but hugemongous is probably a better word anyways.

also, i can't be entirely sure, but i think i'm the only one in my apartment, and i think i have been the only one here for about 6 hours. i couldn't go anywhere because i needed to finish the hugemongous project. i've been so stressed out that i forgot to condition my hair, and i can't remember ever having forgotten that before.

on the plus side, if the other girls aren't in the apartment, that means that they are probably at work, which means they may be bringing me piles of hot dogs when they get here. seriously, that would be the best way to end the day; with a nice lovely hot dog. i don't think many people know this, but i am a sucker for a good hot dog. seriously, hot dogs can be so amazing. especially the ones they make at their work; also the ones i made at my work a few years ago (nathan's hot dogs...mmm...). oh, geez, now i can't think of anything but hot dogs, and if they don't bring me one back, i'll probably cry. you have no idea how many hot dogs they tell me that they have to throw away.

okay, i just checked on what i have to eat that can possibly fill the hot dog void, and i have nothing. i have wine coolers, i have yogurt, i have pitas and polenta; i ended up settling on some braunschweiger. and as much as i love the stuff, it just wasn't what i was looking for.

oh jeez, something made my hair wet and i don't know what.

well, it appears they aren't arriving with hot dogs anytime soon, so i guess i may as well go to sleep. i don't know where my roommate is. she told me she'd be back around 10, so i'm not worried, but i just don't know where she is.

:keff keff:

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 06:53:14 GMT

my sickness gets worse at night : (

my dad was re-elected!

i got a 95 on my latest midterm.

i went to West Hollywood for Halloween, and saw more trannies than i ever knew existed. and my, do they have some creative costumes. it makes sense to be a tranny on Halloween; girls have much better costume options than guys.

braces?

girls should not fall into the mindset that tights are equivalent to pants.

let's repeal prop 8! Civil rights!

i had like a full liter of diet pepsi max today, with the hopes that the ginseng will make me healthy.

People's ignorant facebook statuses are driving me insane.

Sleep time!

inneresting...aka time to rant and rave.

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 06:52:30 GMT

well, decision time has come. i can certainly say i'm surprised; i thought it would be much closer than it was. mccain really shot himself in the foot with sarah palin. also, this is the one place where i can say my views online because it is the one place where my full name is not printed, and i therefore do not have to appear unbiased. well, i don't really have to appear unbiased for the presidential election, because i didn't vote for either of them (i knew CA would go to Obama, and therefore voting mcCain would be a moot point; i went instead with the lovely ladies of the Green party, because even though they had a snowflakes chance in devil's land, voting for them shows support for certain issues that have been ignored for too long).

One thing i think is really interesting is the responses that I'm seeing on facebook--people are either overjoyed, or declaring that they are leaving the country (yeah right people; let's see you get out of orange county). but the thing i find most complexing is people's response being, "i'm going to pray very hard these next four years, and remember that it is in God's hands." Well, that's all well and good, but the thing is, i'm positive the reaction would have been different if mccain had one, in which case you would have to wonder--would you stop praying if it was? would you not worry, because obviously God's on the side of the republicans? because i don't think he is. i think we like to make God political; i think it is one of our ways to feel in control, by saying God is on our side. it's not possible; how can we conform an infinite God to our human laws? and what, is obama not the right type of Christian for Christians? anyways, what bothers me the most is that they act like america was just diagnosed with life threatening disease, and we are in a critical condition. how is obama really that different from mccain? neither of them would have been able to get much accomplished in one term anyways; and at least this way, we are trying something new--because obviously the way Bush did things did not work.

(Warning: the next section is a rambling on Prop 8, so if you are sensitive about the issue, please skip).

However, i am going to be really saddened if proposition 8 passes. there are just so many reasons why it should, and so few why it shouldn't. when i was a junior in high school, we had a debate over gay marriage in my english class. it was one of the few times where i had truly owned the discussion; and i was against it at the time. what's strange was that my argument was one that i had only briefly heard before; the stance being based on what the definition of marriage is. i said that marriage was a term that belonged to a man and a woman, and it was fine if gay people wanted to be together; they could have their civil unions, but leave straight people with their definition of marriages. of course, now i have come to see that those aren't equal things, but at the time, i thought they were almost the same except for title. so many things have made me change my mind, but some more on a personal level: i wondered what it would be like for me if i was truly and deeply in love with someone, and yet told by the government that i couldn't marry them, because some people who i had never met did not approve of my love. And the thing is is that those who are voting "Yes" on it really aren't directly affected by it, unless by some bizarre circumstance they are gay and do not wants gays getting married (see "South Park" concerning Mrs. Garrison and Mr. Slave), and so many of those voting 'no' are those who are. We may want to keep the idea of 'marriage' for straights and 'civil unions' for gays; we tried something like this before; it was called 'separate but equal.' You may not approve of homosexuality; ok, fine--that's perfectly legal; I encourage you to feel this way and express your feelings. That's what makes America amazing; we are able to disagree with each other, but we can still respect each other's beliefs; beliefs are allowed to flourish. But prop 8 goes beyond free speech--it is saying, "Your lifestyle infringes on my morals; to keep you from taking away my rights, I am going to limit yours." And why? Because you want to protect your morals and teach your kids homosexuality is wrong? Fine! You can do that without this ban! So what if kids get taught in kindergarden about homosexuality? Children are much more affected by what their parents say in this concern--and would you rather your kids grow up hating homosexuals? This is probably what bothers me the most. Some of Prop 8's key supporters are Christian groups, which is sending the message that Christians hate homosexuals, and it is stirring up so much unnecessary animosity. And please tell me, because I forgot: where in the Bible does it say that we are supposed to hate each other? And some people will say that they don't hate gays (which is probably true, many Christians don't hate gays), but they are voting on Prop 8 because they want it known that they don't believe in the lifestyle. But wouldn't it be possible to just not vote on it? That way you aren't agreeing, but you aren't condemning it either. What are people so worried about? If God doesn't want gay marriages, then he won't recognize them--again, what makes people think that he has to conform to American law? And lastly, what is one of the fundamental things that Christians believe? That God gives us a free will. If God allows us to act according to our free will, why should we humans believe that should impose limitations on the wills of others? We create laws so that our rights infringe upon each other's in the smallest amount possible, I don't think that gay marriage will infringe upon my rights. Anyways, God wants us to love each other, and if allowing gay people the right to marry is a way to show God's love through me, then okay.

Alright, I'm ridiculously tired, and this isn't cohesive, but whatever. I had more to say, but for now, i got some of it out of my system, so yaaaaay...

phonteresting....

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 03:59:35 GMT

last night i didn't get much sleep. i didn't get much sleep because tuna balloona cat would jump from bed to desk to bed agai, and every time he did, it sounded like an explosion. then, when he got to the bed, he would come and sit on my pillow. this would make him incredibly happy, and he would purr with the furrvor (hahaha whadapun) of a lawn mower. unfortunately, as a persian, he has small nasal cavaties, so his breathing would be ridiculously loud as well. it was like sleeping with a really loud, furry hat. taco the chihuahua slept very nicely though. next time my sister is out of town, i am keeping the door shut.

i was eating one of those wintergreen mints today, when i decided i would chew it to see if it would spark. in case you have never done this before, you have to chomp down on the mint in the dark, and it somehow lights up. however, i decided that chomping on the whole thing would hurt my teeth, so it was about halfway finished when i started. sadly, i saw no sparks. i also decided i that next i time i try it out, i shouldn't be driving.

urghasgafljnas
i just want t'go to bed...

pho...

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 00:57:04 GMT

people are supposed to be coming to my place in 19 minutes, and we are going to chittle (if you don't know already, this is a shortened form of chittle-chat, a word phrase whose origins are unknown). But I don't really feel like chittling; i mean, i have been running around all day, and I just want to be lazy. Also, i'm pretty sure one of the girls coming does not like me, and thinks i am really annoying. Actually, if i had her personality, i would think i was really annoying too. Anyways, my roommate is not even back yet, and I feel like she was instrumental in this gathering.

Also, last week brandon made me a hot dog at 2:00 in the morning; i was so hungry and happy that i promised him i would make him dinner in return, which i'm also kind of not looking forward too. this is mainly because whenever i make my own food, it's great; but whenever i try to make food for other people, it is always really bland; they know it, i know it, and it's awkward. this doesn't apply to desserts, which i think always turn out great, but it's hard to mess up sugar. also, i don't really want to invite brandon or matt or their roommates over to my place, because i am weird like that.

i discovered that the best place to lose your concert ticket is at the greek theatre. we didn't even have the credit card or the address of the person who bought my ticket (natsumi's friend had to buy her the tickets when natsumi went back to japan), and they still replaced it--and not only that, but one of the ladies who was checking bags found an extra ticket for me in case that didn't work out. don't ask how i lost the ticket in the first place. but as it stands, every time i have seen sigur ros, it has been free. those guys are pretty eccentric too--jonsi, the lead singer, was not only wearing facial glitter, but also had some kind of faux-hawk ponytail thing, a band jacket with fringes, and pants tucked into socks. if i was a gay, partially blind icelandic singer, i would definitely want to be jonsi.

also, everyone should check out daytrotter.com so you can download live sessions from cool artists.

quoi?

Sun, 05 Oct 2008 22:34:43 GMT

i went to my first football game last night! and we won. what does that tell you?
i am a lucky charm. just like the cereal; full of marshmallowy goodness.